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I'm not a very engaged participant in politics; I vote, but I wouldn't really consider myself to be an outraged citizen.

More of an annoyed citizen, really.

However, after watching this segment on The Daily Show last week, I actually did write my congressman.

CAVEAT: The following statements are riddled with apathy.
It seems a little hopeless, though, doesn't it? Why would politicians take action against a policy that allows them to engage in insider trading legally? It benefits more for them to whistle nonchalantly and try to look innocent until the issue goes away.

CAVEAT: The following statements are sent from atop my soapbox.
This boils down to more than just a debate over right and wrong, fair or unfair. In an age when most Americans distrust their government and blame the wealthy for our economic woes, it's dangerous for any politician to allow themselves to be aligned with or silent on this matter. By supporting "political intelligence," politicians will demonstrate that they are, indeed, members of the wealthy class which Americans hold directly responsible for the economic downturn - and who will want to vote for them then?

CAVEAT: The following statements are riddled with idealism.
Wouldn't it be nice to have representation that would stand up to their peers and publicly demonstrate their integrity to their constituents? Wouldn't this gain them more trust, and ultimately more VOTES? Americans have clearly expressed that we want and NEED our representation to stand apart from the "suits" of DC.

Please write your congressperson about political intelligence, because it's bullshit.

Will left again yesterday, on his way back to Burundi (east Africa) for three more weeks of work. He was only back for five days this time, and the jet lag (or yo-yo, as he calls it), is really hard on him.

The separation is what's hard on me! I get used to him being gone; life assumes its rhythm. Then he comes back, and I get used to him being home. Life assumes its alternate rhythm. It's weird to me that having my husband home feels like the exception, and not the norm. Is that bad? I don't know. It's just different.

I think yes, especially if he keeps leaving the toilet seat up in the middle of the night.

That being said, I expected to be really bummed when he left yesterday. I usually spend the first day moping around work and moping around the house before I realize that I actually have friends and shit to do!

It helps that today is a beautiful sunny Saturday, my house is half clean, and my brother is snoring up a chainsaw-type racket in his bedroom. He'll probably wake up in about an hour, at which point I'll put him to work cleaning out the garage (haha, sucker!).

Oh yeah, and I'm going for a girls' vacation in Mexico in 2 weeks. White sandy beaches, here I come!

Oh, Toto...

Seriously, people!

And this... just makes me really happy.

I'm not gonna lie; I'm a really crappy gift-giver. I'm not very thoughtful and I loathe shopping... but I WILL spend too much money if you'll only tell me what you want! Seriously, people, just tell me what you want!

My husband is ridiculously hard to shop for. It took TWO MONTHS for me to get his Christmas present, primarily because he just wouldn't tell me what he wanted.

For Valentine's Day, I thought perhaps I should keep the nagging down to a minimum and at least TRY to intuit something he'd appreciate.

Will's a huge fan of ice cream, and he loves Ben & Jerry's. When the flavor "Schweddy Balls" came out last fall, he drove all over town trying to find it. Unfortunately, there were no Schweddy Balls to be had and he finally gave up.

So... for Valentine's Day I thought: "I must find Schweddy Balls! That will be the perfect surprise!"

I searched high and low for Schweddy Balls, but couldn't find them anywhere. Finally, I emailed Ben & Jerry's. They told me that they no longer made Schweddy Balls but I could find them on IceCreamSource.com.

I was excited! Finally, I'd be able to get my hands on some Schweddy Balls! But to my dismay, I found that shipping for 1 pint was $40.

Who would spend $40 on shipping for ICE CREAM? I thought scornfully, as I found myself paying $40 on shipping for ice cream. After all, I did just get that $29.97 class action settlement check in the mail... why not blow it all on ice cream? (<--this is the exact same mentality, albeit on a smaller scale, that makes lottery winners go broke).

Two days later, a large box was delivered to my house. When I opened it, dry ice smoke streamed upward - just like in a science experiment!

The Holy Grail of ice cream flavors.* 

I went to work the next day and told one of my employees about my ice cream delivery. He, too, quickly became obsessed with the concept of Schweddy Balls. "I'm taking my daughter to Ben & Jerry's with her preschool friends tomorrow - do you want me to see if they have any left?" he offered.

I laughed. "Dude, you can check, but there won't be any. I looked all over, and I'm 100% certain there are no Schweddy Balls left anywhere in this town."

That evening, my employee called to say he'd found the last pint, and should he buy it? Then my husband and I could both have Schweddy Balls for Valentine's Day. I sighed and told him to buy it. I couldn't believe how much all these Schweddy Balls were costing me!

And that is the story of how I paid $53 for 2 pints of ice cream. When Will opened his package, I realized that I had no idea which one was the $48 pint, and which was the $5 pint. Theoretically, the $48 pint should taste better, right?

Luckily, Will was thrilled with his gift and I learned a valuable lesson: Never buy Schweddy Balls online when you can find local Schweddy Balls.

Duh.

A few years ago, I received notice in the mail of a class action lawsuit against Bank of America - something about improper calculation of foreign currency exchange rates and bogus service fees.

After reading through the mumbo-jumbo, I remembered all the weird bank fees I was charged the year I lived in Moscow. Every time I used my card, I was charged a foreign withdrawal fee, a percentage of the purchase, and (as it turns out), they were calculating their own unofficial exchange rate. Jeebus!

So I decided to add my name to the class action suit. The attorneys made it very easy - all I had to do was rip off a postcard and sign it or something. I don't remember for sure, because it was so long ago.

And then I totally forgot about it.

But this week, I got a check in the mail! It was my class action settlement!

I'm RICH! And don't come banging down my door begging for a hand-out, people!

It was for $29.97!

I'm pretty sure Bank of America got WAY more out of me than $29.97 during that trip (more like $29.97 a month, at least), but it was still nice to get something in the mail.

That will pay for part of a tank of gas! Or part of my groceries!

It could also buy me a Shakespeare Medium Action Travel Mate Telescopic Kit Combo, a Lalaloopsy Silly Hair Doll, a Hustler Mens Bang Bang Tee, or a VitalCell Dietary Supplement!

Yes, I googled "$29.97."

But I didn't factor in taxes or shipping, so I guess I'm still going to owe something out of pocket. Damn you, Bank of America!

This came on my Pandora mix the other day, and now I'm obsessed. Yes, I might be one of those people who likes the iPod's "repeat" function a little too much. It doesn't hurt anyone when I'm by myself listening to the same song over and over again, now does it?*




*I may have a touch of the OCD. Don't tell anyone!

And God is mean when he's hungry, so FOCUS, kid!

Old School, meet New School. 

(don't tell anyone, but Chuck Norris is actually vegan...)