June 29, 2003

I'm in Moscow right now in the "underground town," as our guide called it. This town is so expensive, it makes Petersburg look like Walmart. We went to a giant Russian market yesterday. I kept Hadley company while she made various purchases because I'm fairly certain I'm going to run out of money while I'm here; therefore, I'm not allowed to buy anything but necessities, like food, cigarettes, beer, etc. BUT, while at the market, I discovered that my money was gone. I still had my passport, camera, blah blah, but my little money pouch had disappeared. I don't think I was pickpocketed, because we weren't in any crazy crowds and no one really had the opportunity since I clutch my purse to my stomach constantly anyway. The only option was that I lost my own money like a dumb ass. Way to go, Lindsey. But Hadley is a lifesaver and she loaned me money on the stipulation that I pay her back in September.

On the train to Moscow on Thursday night, (and on the way back tonight) I shared a compartment with Kevin, Bruce, and Anne. I brought a bottle of vodka and a giant Mountain Dew, Bruce brought more vodka, Rob gave us his Jack Daniels and another bottle of whiskey, and I think there was still more liquor somewhere. Anyway, it was an interesting train ride. Bruce ended up pretty incoherent. In fact, he was still drunk when we got off the train at 8 am. He was in a really good mood due to his lingering inebriation, and was screaming things like "HOLY SHMOLY" and calling people "imperverts." Russians were staring at him, while the rest of us tried to pretend we weren't with him.

When we were still debauching on the train, he was swaying back and forth and looked like he might need to hork, so I took him back to the bathroom and in the process met two Russians, little Sasha and big Sasha, and a girl named Oksana. We had a long conversation while Bruce swayed in the corner. I got Oksana's phone number (but never called her; I feel kind of bad about that). Anyway, about an hour later, little Sasha grabbed me from behind and tried to stick his hand down my pants. I managed to get away quickly, but then big Sasha grabbed me and tried to do the same thing. As if I was their American pass-around ho! Of course, Bruce was not much help, even after I went over and threw myself up against him and begged him to protect me from the Russians. In his fantastically drunken state, all he could reply was that he didn't think he was the right kind of guy for me. Dumb ass! I'm not asking you to date me! I'm asking you to protect me from the Sashas who were, by this point, getting hyper-belligerent. Oksana yelled "GO!!!" to me, so I took her advice and ditched Bruce in the corridor.

Colin had the unfortunate timing of passing by to go to the restroom in the middle of all this, and little Sasha punched him in the face. Some people were just born lucky, I guess.

June 25, 2003

WARNING: there is much of the f-word in this post. If this offends your delicate sensibilities, just skip over all the words that begin with the letter "f."

Adrienne says that everyone who spends any amount of time in Russia will eventually have their very own dead body story. It's official: I saw my first dead body the other day. It was some guy with a smashed-in face lying in an abandoned ambulance while passersby smoked cigarettes indifferently. And, in the distance, dogs were fucking. It was an very "Russian" moment.

Yesterday, we went on a boat excursion/tour of the canals. It was expensive, but worth it. I took a lot of pictures - I've been taking a lot of photos, but just of the random things I see that strike me as particularly Russian. I have a few pictures of wrecked/abandoned cars and some interesting heaps of garbage, but that's pretty much it. During the boat trip, a bunch of drunk Russians were dangling over the bridge and trying to get us to take their pictures. I'd just put my camera away, so I missed out on the photo op. Today we are going to the Kunstkamera (museum of oddities) and then, of course, we will drink beer. I'm getting fat off all this beer. I do so much walking, I work off all the fish heads Larisa feeds me, but the beer is giving me a tummy. Good news though: I think my bladder is stretching out a bit so I don't have to find a bathroom so often (which is a real pain in this country).

Last night, I was up really late talking with Larisa. When I came home around 9, she was really cranky and I couldn't figure out why. She's never been short with me before, but I think it had something to do with the fact that she'd visited her mom's grave earlier.

But I'd decided that yesterday was going to be a good day no matter what, so I went into my room, listened to music, de-TomSellecked, and gave myself a manicure. Ain't NOBODY killing this good mood!!!! An hour or so later I went to tell her good night, and she decided that she wanted me to sit and watch tv with her. She was wearing her dark sunglasses (in a dark room, at 10pm) and I've decided this as a sign that she's been drinking. When her dark glasses are on, she is REALLY friendly. Anyway, we talked for hours about her husband and how he died, and my shitty/crazy boyfriends, and the siege of Leningrad, and Putin, and blah blah blah. Oh, and the angel she gave me for my birthday is supposed to protect me from a broken heart, and is supposed to bring me love. So I hung it over my bed... we'll see if it works!

We went to the Dostoevsky museum yesterday, which is located in the flat that he died in. Across the street is a giant Russian market, which smells awful (like a pair of dirty underwear in 113 degree weather) but was still really interesting. Everywhere you go, women are calling: "Девочка! Девочка!" ("Young lady!") and you get free honey on a stick. The downside is the cow brains on full display at room temperature. Oh, and did I mention the smell?

June 19, 2003

Last night, I asked Larisa if I could borrow her copy of "Shrek" (in Russian of course!). I considered putting the moves on a friend as we watched this children's movie, but unfortunately his host mom also likes "Shrek" so we didn't actually get any time alone.

There's a little bar off the Sadovskaya metro station that is awesome. Our little group (me, Hadley, Anne, Kevin, Colin, Rob, and Bruce) even have our own little room, aptly dubbed "the expat room." It is, quite possibly, the cleanest bar in Petersburg, and the toilets don't even have shelves.

Seriously, what is the deal with the shelf inside the toilet bowls here? Someone said it was so people could check their feces for parasites (THE SHELF NEVER LIES!), but I personally find it disconcerting. I mean, it all flushes away eventually, but in the meantime it just sits there... on a shelf... looking at you... It just seems so wrong.

What else does our little Stout bar have? Sobaka shots! Karaoke and PORN!!!! The sobaka shots are awesome - vodka, juice, lemon, and sugar topped with a drip of Tabasco sauce. The fact that the metro closes at 12:30am does cramp our style a bit since most of us all live on different islands, but Saturday we've decided to stay out all night to watch the bridges go up.

I wanted to make sure I didn't end up in the higher level Russian class (probably wouldn't have happened anyway), so I "half-heartedly" took the placement test. Overall, I belong there but I just wanted to make sure that I'd have a fun summer and not a library/study summer. This is my first trip abroad, and I want to be out and about experiencing Russia! The higher level class would have proved too difficult for me anyway.

There is a certain guy, Nick-of-the-Halitosis, who is constantly trying to read my notes and then acts all huffy when he sees that I haven't been taking notes and have instead been writing out song lyrics. In my defense, I often try to translate them into Russian, with varying degrees of success.

I feel kind of dirty; I don't feel like I can really get clean in the water here. By the time I finally get back to the States, Russia will have invaded my entire body and my fingertips will be rough like sandpaper.

Julio Iglesias will be in Petersburg on June 28, so there! I'll be in Moscow on the 28th, but I'm thinking about staying just so I can throw my panties at this man, sire of Enrique. Also, Moby will be here and I already missed King Crimson. Also, I saw a girl on the trolleybus today with hella rat-tail.

June 18, 2003

I can't believe it's been two weeks already. I got tired of listening to my friends bitch, so I ditched them and have been shenanigan-ing around Nevsky Prospekt all by my lonesome. It's nice to have some time to myself, navigating the crowds without worrying if a companion is getting mugged or pick-pocketed (editor's note: what about YOU getting mugged or pickpocketed???).

I found a new internet cafe, bought a beer, and here I sit. Before I go home, I'll go exchange my dollars for rubles, or else I will be out of money. On Saturday we're going to Tsarskoe Selo and, since it's the solstice (and hence, the longest day of the year), we are planning on staying out all night and watching all the beautiful bridges go up. The bridges that connect the island of Petersburg are raised at midnight every night, not to be lowered again until about 6am or thereabouts, so we're making a night of it on some random urban island of our choosing. Then I will sleep all day on Sunday and start school again on Monday.

NEXT weekend we will spend in Moscow!!!

June 17, 2003

Time is passing by really, really quickly and it makes me kind of sad, because all of this is going to be over soon. I told Larisa about a friend who doesn't really get along with his host mom, and then I said she should tell me if I piss her off. She laughed and told me I was wonderful; then thought for a minute before dragging me into the bathroom to discuss my placement of the shower curtain. Old women have some universal qualities that make you feel right at home, no matter which country you're in.

We went to Novgorod this weekend; it was beautiful. St. George's and St. Sophia's were really exquisite, and it was nice to get out of the crowded city for a while. We ate lunch at this ancient place, and they fed us an "authentic" ancient Novgorodian feast and gave us painted Russian spoons. It was the best food I've ever eaten, I swear.

It's been cold and rainy half the time so far. I swear... shit! Every time I try to type "I swear," I type "I sweat!" See, I did it again. I don't know why. So... um... anyway, I had the apartment to myself this weekend because Larisa went to the dacha with a bunch of her senior citizen friends. On Saturday, a friend and I walked down to the beach and watched as two Russian guys climbed on a tiny inflatable raft and began tenaciously rowing into the Gulf of Finland. I'm not sure where they were going, but they were certainly determined! After that, I bought my first bottle of real Russian vodka and we finished it off at "my place."

I've decided that I shouldn't take pictures of the typical tourist sites (there are better quality photos in books anyway); instead, I will photograph all the weird and profoundly Russian things I see. So far, I've taken some fabulous pictures of a Mercedes Benz sign hanging on the wall of a dilapidated building in the ghetto, and "fuck da police" spray-painted on a wall.

June 16, 2003

More about the fish head soup...

I tried to just eat around the fish head. But of course Larisa noticed and I had to explain to her that I just couldn't do it. So, she took the fish head out of the bowl and laid it on my plate. After she left, I stuck a flower in its gaping maw so that maybe she would laugh when she came back in. She did, but then she sat down with a BOWLFUL of fish heads and proceeded to peel the "meat" off each and every one, as if this would make me more inclined to consume a fish eyeball.

School is going really well. The days are long, but as soon as we get out of school we're ALL over town. I really like this not-having-to-work thing. It gives me so much more free time! So far so good with the money; I think I may be able to survive on the meager savings I brought with me. It feels like I'm throwing money around right and left, but it's all rubles and a subway ride is equivalent to a fricking quarter in America so it's pretty cheap. We spend a lot of time on Nevsky Prospekt and our little group is very entertaining, I have to say. Sometimes people are a bit indecisive, and we stand around looking hopeless while a tsunami of Russians flows angrily around us, but for the most part we can hold our own.

Yesterday we went on a day trip to Novgorod, touring cathedrals and churches that had been built back in the 10th century. I haven't been taking as many pictures as I want to, but that's mainly because I don't want to stand around looking EVEN MORE like a tourist. We're planning a purely photo-taking excursion around the city on the last week of the trip. Next weekend (the 26th), we're going to Moscow. As a group, we've already decided to skip class that Monday, just because we're all going to be completely exhausted. We're going to tell our teachers of course, but we're hiding this fact from our group leader because he's a bit of a dick. He'll figure it out when none of us show up that day.

Last night it stormed for a while, and in the bright sky (at 10pm!!!) I saw the most beautiful, gigantic-est rainbow ever. It was gorgeous, but I couldn't get my camera out in time before it disappeared behind all the buildings.

June 11, 2003

Four days into the trip and I OWN the metro. The escalator is much like a descent into hell, but it's really not so bad once you get down there (the deepest subway in the wurrrrrrrld!). Hadley and I spent all day yesterday wandering around the metro until we finally figured out how to get... well, everywhere! My host mom tried to feed me fish soup yesterday. I'd had the fish soup the day before and it was actually quite good, but yesterday my bowl had the fish's HEAD in it. Eyes, teeth, venom and all. "When in Rome...?" Nope. I just couldn't do it, and she tried to convince me that it was healthy and had phosphorous in it. Is that good? All I know is that fish came from a very, very, very polluted body of water. I refuse to eat its head. I'm sorry. I have to draw the line somewhere.

Um... what else? Sunday we are going to Novgorod! Tomorrow we don't have class because of a national holiday (something to do with Yeltsin). The classes are actually pretty good, but that's because I heeded Adrienne's advice and "halfheartedly" took the placement test; the idea is that it's more comfortable to be in a easier, lower-level class than a linguistically taxing class when you're trying to find time to sightsee in a new country. I was bored almost to tears in class yesterday, but today was better. I think it just depends on the class. We have our phonetics class, conversation, grammar, media, literature courses, as well as a few others.

Did I mention I OWN the metro? Yeah, I've figured out that you just have to push everyone around, look angry (or really sad), and act like you're late for your enema. Last night, after figuring out the metro, Hadley and I took ourselves to Nevsky Prospekt and celebrated in a beer garden. We've also found a prime potty spot in the form of the giant diplomat hotel; you just walk in, pretend like you're a diplomat, ignore the fact that you've set off the metal detector, and go to the NICEST bathroom EVER! The guards never even react as we go by; I think they're just there for appearances. We have an agenda now, though - we are determined to go to the kino and watch the "Matrix Reloaded" in Russian. We're also going to drink beer in the park like real Russians, and we're going to the ballet at some point.

The electric current here is weird, so my alarm clock is running at 37 second minutes. This means that by the time my clock goes off in the morning, it's actually only about 4 am. The first morning I got up, got ready, and then looked at the clock in the kitchen.... oops!

Ok, I've gotta go. It's a ruble a minute for this computer, which means I've probably racked up all of 47 cents.

KC to Chicago to Frankfurt to St. Petersburg

I made it! We got to Chicago and promptly missed our flight to Dulles, so we ended up standing in the airport for two and a half hours while they put us on standby for a flight directly to Frankfurt. We finally got to Frankfurt, only to find that we were still on standby for the Frankfurt-Petersburg flight. We got here about 10 hours off schedule, and still had to survive a perilous van ride through Petersburg under a torrent of rain. Oh, did I mention that when we missed our flight in Chicago, we watched as they loaded our luggage onto the plane that was STILL AT THE GATE, but we weren't allowed on since we were 30 seconds late? Oi! None of our baggage arrived with us, but they delivered it to us the next day so all is well. It made for an interesting first experience with Russian bureaucracy: the lost baggage office. Ok, it wasn't that interesting at all, but I'm fascinated with this country right now so pretty much anything intrigues me.

My host mom is a retired teacher who lives by herself. She is really, really sweet but she says I'm too thin and tries to pump me full of strange, strange food. Yesterday, I was jetlagged and had developed a nasty cold, and I noticed a mug on the kitchen table filled with a sketchy white fluid. It was there for HOURS. Then, around midnight, she told me to drink it. I was not so excited but hey, "When in Rome...," right? It tasted like sour cream and yogurt and warm milk all in one. I'm going to avoid it next time around, I think.

I'm actually surprised at my Russian. My grammar is terrible, mainly because I'm agitated and out of my element, so case endings are really the last thing on my mind. But I can understand a lot, and Larisa (host mom) says I speak well. We had a couple rough moments yesterday when our douchey group leader told me to call the airport about my baggage, and then said that I might need to go get it myself. WHAT???? I don't know how to get back to the airport!!! There are five million people in this friggin' city! This is my first time out of the States, and I am completely disoriented!

Larisa was worried about my luggage, and she was asking questions REALLY fast. She finally called a friend who spoke English and we got it all taken care of. I went into the stairwell, broke down and cried for about 2 seconds, and then got over it.

On the second day, our douchey group leader left us on Nevski Prospekt and told us to find our way home. Anne, Kevin, Rob, Bruce, and I stuck together and found this internet cafe, where I am presently having a great time! We finished our placement tests this morning and start our actual classes tomorrow. Now I just have to figure out how to get home, wherever that is.

Oh yeah, and the subway here is scary. REALLY scary. Wait... everything here is scary. But I'm so glad I survived the trip, and I'm finally here!!! Each day has its own tribulations, but it's definitely worth the discomfort.

Ok, I'm out of internet time. Have fun in America, enjoying your clean water and high-fructose-corn-syrup-infused Pepsi products!!

4 days left!!!

Current music: Old Canes

I leave for Russia very, very soon. I am still a little anxious, but the overall excitement has taken over and I've been extremely productive today.

Last night we went to the ranch and engaged in an afterschool-special type of carnival. Aaron had rented a moonwalk for Hayden's birthday party, so in the middle of the night a group of us smoked a bit, drank some beers and scotch, and decided to re-inflate the moonwalk. We were being sneaky gymnasts until Laine gave herself a bloody nose while doing a flip, but we had a good laugh about that as well.

The quiet of the evening is interrupted by the reluctant rumblings of the clouds. Earlier, I smoked a cigarette on the porch and watched the slow rain. I think I'll go back out and take my cat with me for company.