Firstly, I want to acknowledge the incredible amount of expletives in my previous entries. I mean, fuck! (haha) I guess I really believed in Monty Python's validation of the many uses of the word "fuck," but geez!
I graduate in almost exactly 12 hours. Suddenly (5 1/2 years later) I have a dual bachelor's degree in Slavic Languages and Literature, Russian and Eastern European Studies. I have written and semi-successfully defended my undergraduate thesis, and at this point I have only to write two final papers for my film adaptations and linguistics classes.
And then what? I'm at a complete loss. I'm being kicked out of the club, and my initial goal was to never be kicked out in the first place. I'm so inherently nerdy that I MUST be in school, so that I can somehow validate my silly little existence. And now, here I am, with one graduate school haunting my most luminous dreams and most terrifying nightmares simultaneously, knowing full well that if I am not accepted then Plan B is to move to NYC in August. Even if I don't get accepted into Middlebury, life will be good somehow. But I'm so apprehensive of these major life changes, and wonder if I can rise to the challenge. I've become so accustomed to my obraz zhisni in the last few years, and every little disruption terrifies me. But I must remind myself that the most terrifying changes I've made in life have turned out to be the most rewarding.
The next few months will be full of trepidation... uncertainty... inactivity. I will comfort myself in the knowledge that all will be well, as it invariably is.
Calm nights and peaceful days to the few livejournal users with whom I am acquainted. Although I haven't logged in for quite some time, and have been completely self-absorbed in the eternal drama that is my life, I hope that all is well in your worlds.