I have a pair of earrings named after me!

You can purchase them at Awava Market, an amazing fair trade business started by my best friend Kate in 2006. Awava is based in Uganda and focuses on the economic empowerment of female artisans by providing design assistance and Western market access.

Make sure to check it out - great for gifts or a little treat for yourself (Lindsey earrings, anyone?)

a waterfall... flowing backward?

I'm jealous of the people in the helicopter who got to see this incredible phenomenon! No, this is not a sign of the end of the world; rather, it's the effect of heavy rain and a subsequent windstorm. All explanations aside, I'm sure it was absolutely breathtaking to see in person.

maintaining sexual equilibrium (part 2)

I finished this book last week, but just want to summarize how I felt about it after reading the conclusion...

maintaining sexual equilibrium (part 1)

There are several subtly intertwined subtexts throughout the novel, but the most interesting is the nameless aspect of the main character. Even while getting to know the narrator excruciatingly well, the reader never discovers her name. Why is she the only person in the book to go unnamed? This nameless state builds her as a sort of "Everywoman" to readers.

But the narrator's lover is thoroughly identified; his last name is renowned in academic circles. He is a Creator, a Messiah of sorts; by the end of the book, this "Everywoman" devotes more and more of her time to scheming against him - all because he's essentially transcended without her. 

Females will identify with her, while still being horrified by the extent of her drive to get a man (and what she does with him once she's decided she doesn't like who he's become). Yes, there are things that ring true in this text. While I'm still not totally certain how I feel about the book, I know that I enjoyed it. And if I'm still thinking about it a week after finishing it, that's a good sign as well. It's extremely well-written and, if anything, is worth reading to explore what Norman Rush thinks a woman of above-average intelligence might do for love.

The book seems to serve as a sort of parable as well; I agree with the author that women are better off when unconsumed by an irrational, irrevocably obsessive love. At the same time, I disagree that the main character is an "Everywoman." There are too many extremes for her to represent the average female.

Maybe she's meant to be academia's quintessential "good girl gone bad?"

good news on the honeymoon front...

There was some question about whether Will and I'd be able to afford a honeymoon this fall, especially around the time this blog entry (the IRS stole my honeymoon) happened.

Shortly after the IRS debacle, we did a review of our finances and realized that we just couldn't afford anything extraneous. But then he got called up for another gig through September! We were both really excited; he'll make enough money under this contract to pay off the IRS and his share of an awesome honeymoon!

Will does contract work in Africa, and it's pretty hard to plan ahead for when he'll be gone. His company is notorious for giving him extremely short notice before a 6-8 week trip; he found out about it last week and just left two days ago. He should have landed in Burundi either late last night or this morning.

I think I might actually be getting used to this now, after a year and a half of Will's nontraditional employment situation. I remember how frantic I felt when he went to Haiti (we'd only just started seeing each other, there were aftershocks, it was a disaster zone, phone lines were down, etc etc). There was so much uncertainty then, but not anymore.

The main difference I've noticed when he leaves is that I'm finally NOT questioning the future of our entire relationship. I used to really wonder if I could "do this;" i.e., date/marry a man who is absent half the time. But this sort of relationship gives me the sort of independence I crave (actually, the independence we both crave), and I feel very confident about us and our future together.

I understand that yes, it's going to be really hard sometimes. It's already been hard at times, but it will be worse after we have children (although he's trying to find more steady work before then, but who knows if that will happen). Communication can sometimes be impossible over long distances and crappy phone connections. Still, we're both stubborn enough to make this work and the distance makes us value the other even more. It's much more difficult to take someone for granted when you're not around them! 

Still, I miss him in a quiet, calm sort of way. Occasionally I get a weird heavy sensation in my gut that passes quickly... like there's a Will-shaped hole in my universe.

But then again, there are some nice things about him being gone. The house stays cleaner and I get a LOT more done. I have a lot of plans over the next few weeks, and a full schedule. Time will fly by quite pleasantly until he returns...

And now we can afford to go to Paris on our honeymoon! Unless, of course, the US defaults on its debts causing the value of the dollar to crash (Should You Worry About a US Default?).

I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

"Whenever you are unhappy, go to Russia. Anyone who has come to understand that country will find himself content to live anywhere else."

-Marquis de Custine, 1839

Least funny nationalities

Germany's sense of humor may be getting some bad press lately (Germans voted "Least Funny Nationality" in Badoo Global Survey), but people seem to be forgetting that Russia and Turkey ran a close second and third.

I have to admit, I've never really "gotten" Russian humor. Most Russians didn't "get" my sense of humor either. It left me feeling rather colorless in conversations, especially since my language skills weren't all that great. The last year of grad school was probably the apex of my Russian acquisition, and I was finally starting to feel I could express myself. I could even have a good laugh at some of the dirtier jokes I heard, but my English-speaking sense of humor is pretty low-brow as well...

They say that understanding and appreciating another language's humor is the final step in fluency. Americans and Spaniards were voted the most funny nationalities in the same survey... but if you think about it, with the exception of Mandarin Chinese, English and Spanish are the most widely spoken languages in the world. Could it just be that not enough people speak German, Russian, or Turkish, and that's why their collective sense of humor is less appreciated by the world audience?

clouds are my mountains...

the IRS stole my honeymoon

There is nothing more terrifying than getting a letter from the IRS. Although... it's somewhat less terrifying when the letter is addressed to your fiance (and not you directly). When I handed Will the envelope, he scowled and tossed it directly into his desk drawer. Without even opening it!!!! How is that even possible? It took all my self control not to dive into the drawer and open it myself.

Finally I cajoled him into reading the IRS hate mail, and part of me wished I'd let him hide it away for a bit longer.  Will was working for the International Medical Corps in post-earthquake Haiti during the 2010 tax season and, in all the tumult associated with disaster zones, forgot to file his 2009 tax return. It only took the IRS two years to figure it out, and Will just realized he owes almost $5000. Whoops...

No honeymoon for us! It's funny; we initially wanted to go hang-gliding in Brazil but then realized the frequent flier miles don't go to South America. So then we thought it would be nice to honeymoon in France, since Will speaks fluent French. Then we remembered the USD/Euro exchange rate and joked about going to Branson, MO, instead.

At this point, it looks as though even Branson is out of our reach! Quick, someone win the lottery and send us some money!!!

maintaining sexual equilibrium (part 1)

The book I'm reading explores male-female dynamics in excruciating depth. Two intellectuals fall in love in Africa, and the storyline details the trajectory of their relationship.

Interestingly enough, the narrator of the book is female, while the author himself is male. This is one of the things that drew me to the book; I wanted to see how the author handled the feminine perspective. I was, and am, ready to critique.

For the most part, the author has done quite well drawing his heroine as an intelligent and daring character - but all her intelligence has been directed in the acquisition of a man. All of her daring has been directed to this aim, as well (solo hike across the Kalahari, anyone?).

I can't help but despise some of the truths apparent; but at the same time, this incredibly detailed story borders on the cliche when you examine the skeleton of the text. Are women so wily, so lacking of their own direction, that they must embark on an elaborate scheme to meet their mate? And are the dynamics between men and women still so remarkably defined as below?

"I had to realize that the male idea of successful love is to get a woman into a state of secure dependency which the male can renew by a touch or pat or gesture now and then while he reserves his major attention for his work in the world or the contemplation of the various forms of surrogate combat men find so transfixing. I had to realize that female-style love is servile and petitionary and moves in the direction of greater and greater displays of servility whose object is to elicit from the male partner a surplus ... of face-to-face attention. So on the distaff side the object is to reduce the quantity of servile display needed to keep the pacified state between the mates in being. Equilibrium or perfect mating will come when the male is convinced he is giving less than he feels is really required to maintain dependency and the woman feels she is getting more from him than her servile displays should merit."
-Mating, Norman Rush

I find this passage problematic, but only because it's so unflattering. When I look at my own relationship, or look at other peoples' relationships, this sort of pattern is truly apparent. In essence, each party will feel satisfied when they're getting more than they're putting in. It makes sense to me. I don't think every relationship dynamic can be reduced as such, but it's not a nonexistent pattern. 

I asked my fiance's opinion; he found it somewhat ridiculous. Then I pointed out certain patterns in our relationship and, while he didn't concede defeat, he did stop arguing. He summed it up with a simple: "You read too much."

I'm only two-thirds of the way through the book, so I have yet to see how Rush's denouement ultimately classifies women in their role with men. So far, though, there has been plenty of food for thought. The book is extremely well-written and, if anything, is worth reading to explore what one man thinks a woman might do for love. 

maintaining sexual equilibrium (part 2) 

procreation, reconsidered

Will's 10 year old niece and 7 year old nephew spent the night with us last night. This isn't the first time they've stayed over, but it was decidedly more conflict-prone than before. They were constantly at each other's throats! Lena would wait until our backs were turned, when she'd do something to provoke Carson who would then explode in some sort of screaming/kicking/hitting fit. By the time we looked, Lena was sitting still (looking quite innocent) and waiting for Carson to get scolded.

To our credit, we didn't fall for it. Not every time, at least.

I'm gonna have to ask Mom if my sister and I bickered that much when we were little. I mean, I know we fought. I remember certain instances that were rather intense; my little sister had to get stitches once because I shoved her into a toy box. Trust me though, she brought it on herself!

But I don't remember the constant bickering...

24 hours ago, Will and I were sure that we wanted two kids someday. 12 hours ago, we'd revised that plan to having only one. As of now, we're considering being one of those hip couples who never procreates (especially since Will just found this article: 16 pound baby born in Texas).

All venting aside, we really do enjoy having Lena and Carson over. When they're not bickering, they often defend each other or do little favors for one another. They invent little games and tell inside jokes. While the rosy glow of time has warped my memory a bit, I can't imagine growing up without my siblings. Maybe I don't remember all the day-to-day bickering, but I do remember all the fun we had together.

I just never appreciated how much work it must have been for my parents!

things that happen in Kansas

For some reason, my father decided that he needed to buy a golf cart. At the time, I mildly scolded him for wasting money. It's a recession, after all...

However, I have to admit that we've gotten a lot of use out of it over the last several months.

Even Dad's 14 year old Pomeranian enjoys going for a ride now and then.

Next: NITROUS <--- let's see how fast we can get this thing to go!