a whole lotta nuthin'

"I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."  -Some Dude*

That pretty much summarizes my life at work lately. I would give more detail but a) my job is actually pretty boring, b) but I could get fired if I talk about it online, and c) I don't want to.

In other news, I've started reading the Bloggess's book, "Let's Pretend This Never Happened." While the introduction rambled on and on (until I started to worry that I'd wasted $20), the first few chapters have been just as funny as promised. Think David Sedaris with a vagina and a genetic predisposition for taxidermy. Brilliant!

In other other news, Will is back in Africa, which leaves me all alone in the house. I normally love having the place to myself, but Sunday night I was seized with the uncontrollable urge to make an assload of homemade Chex Mix. I ate so much of it I almost died, which leads me to believe that I'm similar to a horse and should never be left unattended with a barn full of hay lest I eat myself to death.

Only... hay is not as delicious as Chex Mix....

Anyway, last night, I resolved to eat healthy in order to make up for my Chex Mix binge, so I ate an entire cauliflower. I know it doesn't actually sound like that much, but apparently it is because I ate so much cauliflower I almost died.

Can you tell moderation is not my strong point? Tonight I'm letting someone else cook for me to ensure that I get all the proper nutrients with some semblance of portion control.

In other other other news, what the f*ck is up with Lindsay Lohan being cast as Elizabeth Taylor??? I bet ole Liz is spinning in her grave. And now Rosie O'Donnell of all people has decided to cast her opinion out there. I never in a bajillion years expected that I would be writing this EVER, but... Rosie O'Donnell is right. There's no way in hell that Lindsay Lohan is qualified to play this role.

Now, I know Lifetime isn't known for their high caliber cinema, but still. Is this really all you could work into your budget for a biopic on a Hollywood legend? Surely Lifetime could afford to splurge on an actress who doesn't demand payment in cocaine, Starbucks, and freckle repellent.

*breathe!*

I know there are WAY more important current events to rant about than this (like the economy or politics or something?)... but celebrity gossip is my own personal crack and it just so happens to be what I care about today.

The End.


*aka Robert McCloskey, US State Department Spokesman