31 January, 2014

the elusive inspirado

Bad news: I seem to have lost my inspirational mojo over the last few weeks (months?). I can't think of anything in my life that's interesting enough to write about, and I don't want to flood this blog too much with baby stuff... not because I'm not madly in love with my daughter, but because I want to preserve this blog for ME as a person, not just ME as a mother. I have, however, been much more active on a Tumblr that I started for Charlotte - so, if you prefer cute baby photos to my themeless, sporadic, self-involved mental meanderings here, feel free to go to Charlotte Thinks.

 My mother used to keep a daily journal for me, up until I was about 6 or 7. After Charlotte was born, I poured through it and absorbed every detail of my young life. Some things I remembered, like seeing "Bambi" in the movie theater, and other things I didn't (like teething, potty-training, etc). It was also a little horrifying to read about all the awful food my mom was feeding me: hot dogs, french fries, etc. It did help me to relax a bit about my child-rearing skills with Charlotte - after all, I turned out all right. Right? Well, eventually anyway. It's all still a work in progress.  

So I started Charlotte's Tumblr as a modern day equivalent of the daily, handwritten journal. It's super easy to upload a quick post from my phone, and hopefully someday Charlotte will appreciate wandering through the mundane details of her early childhood. And then, when she gets old enough to dislike me recording her activities, I'll just let it go inactive. Or she can start posting herself, if she wants to. Regardless, it will be there if she ever wants it.

Good news: I have my inspirational mojo back! Unfortunately, it's
not really anything that pertains to this blog, but it's related to a cycle of short stories I want to write. I've been grasping at crappy ideas for a while now, unable to settle on a project that I really want to focus on. I've been drifting from one banal Lifetime-Television-for-Women concept to another, hating myself for my complete lack of originality.

BUT!

It finally struck me, last weekend! And it's going to be just the amount of edgy that I want, with porn and road rage and sabotage and a great many other fun human foibles. If anything, it will be entertaining to write. It may turn out to be super crappy and only deserving of the recycle bin, but at least I finally have the urge to write again.

2 comments:

Shooting Stars Mag said...

That's great you have inspiration to write again! Sometimes your writing can only be for you, and it's still great. I have a lot of ideas I want to work on, but I need to get motivated enough to start one. hah

Katyenka said...

You go girl!! And I will be happy to read it and tell it is absolute crap!

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