The Story of Moi

I was born, like most people. I grew up in Kansas, which is about as interesting as it sounds.

I have two younger siblings, a sister and brother. My sister Laine and I swore to one another as children that we'd die on the same day. She knows all my dirty secrets, which is why her contact info will never appear on this blog.

My brother Scott is awesome. He's 22 years old and has Asperger's Syndrome (a form of autism). Some people might see this as a challenge (those people would be right), but it also makes him a source of unique new perspectives on life.

My mother homeschooled my siblings and I, partly for religious reasons and partly because all her friends were doing it (I'm not kidding). People view homeschooling in one of two ways: either the kids are ridonkulously smart, or the kids are ridonkulously backward ("Jesus wants me to shoot heathens with mah gun!"). Fortunately for me, my college professors were of the former inclination and seemed to think I was pretty smart.
 

As an adolescent, I was a total a**hole. Most of us are. I was dealing with a childhood of physical and sexual abuse, and my parents divorced when I was 14. Don't get me wrong - the divorce was a good thing. My parents function much better apart than as a team, and they actually get along really well now. But things were touch and go for a while there...

I moved out of my mother's house when I was 16. This meant that I was a homeschool high-school drop-out, which I think is sort of hilarious now. At the time, not so much. I was homeless for a short while, then I moved in with my father. Then my father went to jail and I was homeless again for a short while, before I moved in with my boyfriend's mom. I got my very first apartment when I was 17, and worked for a year before I finally realized that I should probably go to college and stuff.

I took the GED and the ACT, and enrolled at the University of Kansas when I was 19. I struck out on my own with the motto "No regrets" and the goal to experience everything I encountered. I made some shit choices. I did some horrible things. No regrets, my ass! I somehow made it through classes, thankfully, and did pretty well.

Then I almost died in a car accident. I was in a medically-induced coma for 3 weeks, and I honestly don't think I could have made it without my wonderful family and friends. So I was 22 years old with a new lease on life, and still no clue of what to do with it.

So I went to Russia. A logical choice, yeah? I studied Russian language and literature, and I was ready to travel. I went to St. Petersburg for a summer in 2003, then graduated with my BA in 2004. I started my MA program at Middlebury College in Vermont and lived in Moscow from 2005-2006. Did I mention it was the coldest winter on record in 70 years? Yeah. It was.

I graduated in 2007 and returned to Kansas. No, I don't own any cows, but I do have a pair of red glittery stripper pumps. No, I am not a stripper. I work in corporate management, and travel every chance I get! I've been to Russia (duh), Lithuania, Ukraine, England, France, Uganda, Canada, Dominican Republic, and Haiti.

I got married to a dude I met on the internet in November 2011. He's amazing and (luckily) did not turn out to be a serial killer (unlike some people on the Internet who are best left unnamed).

We're going to try to make one of these in 2012. Stay tuned... the spawn of a homeschool high-school drop-out and a formerly Mormon LARP-er could be nothing but interesting.

UPDATE!

We totally DID make a person! Her name is Charlotte, she was born on January 18, 2013, and she's kinda awesome. You can read all about her here...